The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
