i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
