One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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