I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize