Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
