oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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