Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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