i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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