Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
