is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
