I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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