so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
