Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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