I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
