Screwed.edu
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
