Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
