I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
