I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
