how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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