just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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