I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
