Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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