The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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