brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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