just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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