Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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