is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
