He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
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I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
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The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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