brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
