You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
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My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
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For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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