even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
