Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
