Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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