And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
