Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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