Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize