You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
