i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
only if we run a train.
done.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize