if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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