Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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