That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
