Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
