i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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