What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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