I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
