i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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