And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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