Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
