I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
