man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
