Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
