I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
