Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
