Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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