he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
false alarm, still single
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