What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
