Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
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just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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