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• (616): View more from Michigan

  dude you need to get laid

  (906): View more from Michigan

  me?

  (616): View more from Michigan

  no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months

  (906): View more from Michigan

  oh I thought you were talkin about me

  (906): View more from Michigan

  wait

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• (516): View more from New York

  sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  look no pants

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• (909): View more from California

  so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet

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• (281): View more from Texas

  We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing

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• (518): View more from New York

  And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  How early is too early to study with margaritas?

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• (917): View more from New York City

  You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.

  (1-912): View more from Georgia

  How did you come to this point in your life?

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Good bartenders.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick

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