Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize