I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
