we have pet lesbian snakes
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he was CRYING into my vagina
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
