i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize