just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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