just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
