How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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