Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
