The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
