Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
