So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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